A couple of years ago I was involved in a Bible study that talked about idolatry. At the time, I didn't see myself putting anything before my God. Maybe my husband???? Maybe. But I just didn't see anything else in my life that I "worshipped" more than Jesus.
Haha! God is faithful to show what is hidden deep inside the heart, even when we don't realize it's there. It wasn't the typical idolatry I was forced to remove. It was how I saw myself. My identity. Who I thought I was.
I took pride in my beautiful children, just as any mom would. But I thought my worth was found in being a mother of four. That was who I was and I made sure that my kids and my home appeared perfect. After all, it was a reflection of my performance as a woman, wasn't it?
In the midst of a painful trial and with only 2 of my children remaining at home, I somehow thought that I was less of a mom because one of my babies had grown up and left the "Nest" and the other was a prodigal running from God. I know it sounds absurd, but I was being lied to by the enemy of my soul, who sought to destroy me, and he almost succeeded.
It was a quiet drive alone that I then heard the still, small voice of my God whisper to my heart, "Your identity is in Me!" From that moment on, a change began to occur.
My entire countenance changed. Jesus was renewing my mind, my heart, and my life. As it would turn out, it was a preparation for what was to come. My prodigal was coming home! God needed my heart to be softened and yielded to His Holy Spirit, to love and forgive, in order for His plans to be carried out.
It's definitely a daily process! Our "Nest" is constantly under attack and so is my personal walk with Christ. I am just amazed at how one simple conversation with God can cause such a radical in change! I am not the same person, wife, or mother I was 2 years ago.
